"Firsts and Lasts". (Not funny)

From M:

I get so excited when someone says they have read our blog or I find a new comment.  Silly excited. What we hear most is how funny it is. I love that!! I love to make people laugh. But, the purpose of this blog was to let folks know the good and the no so good. I don't want to disappoint, so future blogs will come with the "not funny" warning when appropriate so you will know it's probably not going to be a knee slapper.

I post my "I'm Grateful For"s everyday (on Facebook) and it really makes me think - every day - about doing that. Being grateful. It also reminds me that there are many things I forgot to be grateful for but... now it's too late.

I tend to remember Firsts. The first time I drove a car, the first time I heard "You have ALS", the first time I ate an oyster, the first time I shaved my legs, the first time I saw Bill, the first time I saw my babies. Lasts, are a little trickier.  Sometimes we request Lasts like, please let that be the last time you ask me to "................  Sometimes we impulsively and naively self-impose Lasts, like that is the last time I go the mall on Christmas Eve, that's the last time I cut my own hair and that's the last time I will ever ever drink tequila. These are nice Lasts -they are reversible. Then there are the for-true ones like, that's the last time I will be a teenager, the last time I talked with my mother .....and that's the last time I watch "Fried a Green Tomatoes".  The saddest Lasts are the sneaky ones. The ones you don't know are for the last time... until after. It's too late to cherish them one more time.  I seem to be finding a lot of these lately.  Mostly, they are subtle things, things I didn't even know I had until they were gone.  Things I miss doing.  I'm going to start adding "I Miss"s to my daily posts. It is not intended to invite the "oh poor baby"s but to put some closure on them for me, share some of what ALS is about and maybe give you a chance to put them on your grateful list.

Here are a few things I miss:

Kicking a ball
Opening a jar
Talking on the phone
Wearing high heels
Being alone
Blowing up balloons
Crossing my legs without using my hands
Unlocking the front door
Crying (my throat closes up)
Putting on earrings
Lifting a gallon of milk
Writing
Walking alone
Talking
Picking up my Cole and Beckett

This ALS stuff is nasty business but it has helped me focus on how much I still have.